A darkroom is not just a dark sex room!

Darkrooms are sexual and social spaces; they come with their own logics, vibes, joys, and anxieties. They host a range of activities, interactions, and particular dynamics that thrive in the unique space they create.

Every darkroom is different and also often has different sections. The organization of space, lighting, noise levels, and furnishing all play a role in suggesting which activities are likely to occur where.

Darkroom consent culture is a unique piece of queer ancestry, a testament to the urgency of sexual expression against all odds. While darkroom culture has been and still is primarily shaped by cis gay men, these spaces are becoming more mixed, especially in Berlin’s queer nightlife scene, meaning darkroom users are coming from a variety of different sex cultures. With this guide, we wish to honor the historical significance of darkrooms and how they work, while also making them more understandable and welcoming to the curious but uninitiated, and evaluating how to make them accessible to anyone who needs or wants to use them, no matter their gender or sexuality. 

The darkroom may seem lawless at first glance, like there is no consent culture being practiced at all. A closer look reveals a variety of communications in play, though they may be unrecognizable based on  more conventional understandings of consent. Here communication is often practiced with no (or minimal) words: questions as well as answers such as yes, no, and maybe are expressed through
touch, eye contact, and explicit body language. Instead of making a verbal request to touch the other person, a caress is often used to establish contact in the first place. The non-verbal cues used here are often more expressive, assertive, explicit, and fast-paced than communication in other contexts. What could be considered an abrupt boundary crossing in the light can be a direct invitation to play together in the dark. Being able to give a kind but firm rejection and to receive rejection gracefully are central parts of the darkroom skill set.

Not everybody finds that the darkroom suits their fantasies or needs for safety. For some people, entering a darkroom activates their own personal history with sexual trauma, physical touch, and boundaries with strangers. This is worth taking note of when considering whether the darkroom experience aligns with one’s well-being – whether it brings more harm than joy. On the other hand, it is also worth keeping in mind when initiating action or just sharing the same sex space that some people prefer verbal consent and whatever privacy is possible.

Some find it useful to set intentions before entering a darkroom. What kind of adventure am I looking for tonight? Do I know? Am I following the vibe or am I looking for that specific action I have fantasized about all week? Will I use substances – which ones/how much? Do I have a sense of how much time I wish to spend here? What are my no-go’s (hard and soft limits)? 

Knowing one’s boundaries is important, but so is remembering that things may change while in action and to leave some room for surprise.

Above, we offer a new vocabulary for navigating the darkroom. These concepts aim to capture how consent and desire are negotiated in these spaces and provide some context for how they work. Although the vocabulary is new, the practices they refer to have been handed down through generations of sex-deviant subcultures. We hope this list helps to make the darkroom more inviting to newcomers, and we hope that darkroom regulars can recognize already existing consent practices described in this vocabulary and reflect on how they can develop them further. Darkroom consent culture has been collectively shaped over generations, but it is importantly also open to change and adaptation, in order to meet the needs of those that use it.

.

.

.