3-MMC vs. 4-MMC (Mephedrone)
8. August 2023
Crystal Meth / Tina
8. September 2023What is chemsex?
Chemsex is when people combine sex and drugs – especially at private parties called “chills” in queer scenes. “Chems” is short for chemical drugs. Here are a few typical scenarios:
The chems help ensure that everyone’s in good spirits and feeling open-minded. Intimacy seems to come naturally. Feelings and sensations are intensified. Some participants are laser-focused on sex and in a kinky mood. Some are super chatty, opening up on even the most intimate matters. Some are deeply engaged in hookup apps or porn.
Since some chems make it difficult to maintain an erection, many people also take Viagra and the like. Orgasms also often don’t come easy high.
Chills can be exciting, worthwhile experiences – but in such intense environments, things can also go wrong. For example, boundaries may get crossed or medical issues may occur, such as anxiety episodes, seizures or blackouts.
Many have a hard time calling it a night and going home. The comedown can leave people feeling exhausted, moody and unmotivated for several days.
How do I recognize offers of chemsex?
Examples in German:
- Magst du pp chems?
- Bin high und horny, Lust?
- Bock auf’n bare dreier jetzt? Chemsfriendly.
- Gerne long session
Examples in English:
- Into longtime 🚀🌪
- Kind of high and horny from party. You into that?
- High slam bottom pig here
- u horny now too? like session?
You may have come across these or similar expressions on hookup apps or in clubs. People use such codes to indicate that they have chemsex or are open to it.
Common codes
- Chill, chillout
- chemsex party at a private home
- Afterhour
- home party after a night out with open substance use – not necessarily sexual in nature
- chems friendly, chemfriendly
- interested in chemsex
- long session, longtime, chem session
- chemsex session
- Tina, crystal, 💎, capitalized T in the middle of a word
- using crystal meth
- slam, slamming
- IV substance use (with a syringe)
- Party, PnP, party and play
- chemsex
- HnH, high and horny, high fun
- chemsex
- Fly, flying, ✈️, 🚀
- using crystal meth
- Clouds, 🌪, 💨, photos with clouds or smoke
- smoking crystal meth
- high, wired, spun
- substance use
- pp
- Poppers
- 🐒
- using monkey dust
Do I want to attend a chill?
These questions can help you decide:
- Am I looking for a sexual adventure?
- Do I know my desires and boundaries?
- Do I trust the people at this chill to be attentive and responsible enough to take risks with them?
- Do I have time for a comedown – ideally, no other important plans for the following days?
Allow yourself to decline invitations if you feel unsure. There’ll be other opportunities in the future!
Advice for your first chill
- Express your desires: Chemsex parties can be an opportunity to try out new things. If you make your interests and wishes explicit, they are more likely to come true.
- Don’t feel obligated: You don’t need to take what others take. You don’t need to have sex with everyone – or anyone. Politely decline unwanted advances. It’s always OK to say “stop”, take a break or leave, for any reason. No step you take commits you to taking any further ones.
- Respect people’s boundaries If someone doesn’t clearly reciprocate your initiative, ask them if they’re into it and wait for an explicit go-ahead before proceeding. Anyone who is too high to communicate clearly is unable to consent. Keep in mind that boundaries may shift over the course of a session.
- Be in the moment: When you’re high, dating apps or porn can be hard to put down. Make a choice how much time you want to spend on your phone versus engaging with the people around you.
- Don’t test your limits: Don’t let the chems become the star of the show. Take as much as you need to feel desirable effects, rather than testing the absolute limits. When trying a substance for the first time, start off with a lower dose to get a feeling for the experience.
- Keep track of your stuff: Keep your belongings in a single pile so you don’t have to spend a lot of time gathering them later. Bring a battery pack and charging cable for your phone.
- Stay hydrated and take breaks: Check in with yourself regularly and take breaks to relax and cool down. Regularly drink water, fruit juice or sports drinks to stay hydrated. Avoid other people’s drinks – there might be G in them!
- End on a high note: Consider when might be a good time to leave. The longer you stay up, the more likely side effects become. The more you take, the rougher the comedown will be. Finding it hard to let go? Treat yourself to one final round, but set an alarm and announce that you’ll get going when it sounds.
The risks you take
Chemsex comes with risks. You can take steps to reduce them – but never completely avoid them. Make conscious decisions about which risks you take! These symbols can help with your assessment:
- = may help reduce risks
- = comparatively less risky method
- = potentially problematic
- = higher risk
- = especially dangerous / difficult to manage
Consider your risks in the following areas:
Drugs
The most commonly used drugs for chemsex are various stimulants (Tina, mephedrone and co.) and GHB/GBL. However, other substances are also common. An overview of their characteristics and risks:
- = may help reduce risks
- = comparatively less risky method
- = potentially problematic
- = higher risk
- = especially dangerous / difficult to manage
Stimulants
These chems come in powders that may be taken in various ways. They boost your energy and libido. Usually, they also make it difficult to get an erection or maintain it.
Combining multiple stimulants adds little value, but quickly increases the risks.
- = particularly intense effect
G
G refers to the closely-related substances GBL or GHB. Their effects are somewhat similar to that of alcohol. The two variants differ in dosage and duration. In Berlin’s chemsex scene, GBL is much more common.
G use requires special vigilance: Taking even slightly too much can induce sleep, or worse. Medical emergencies in chemsex settings often involve G.
Further substances
These substances may be used supplementally or under certain circumstances:
After your first chill
How was it?
Hopefully, everything went well during your first chill! Maybe you can take something from the experience for your sober life – e.g. a new sense of self-confidence or outgrowing feelings of shame? However, you may also judge your experience negatively or feel ashamed of it. Negative feelings may be amplified by the comedown effect that follows substance use, which will pass.
If you are concerned because you forgot to take your PrEP or didn’t use a condom in the heat of the moment, you can still prevent a possible HIV infection by getting PEP. In order for PEP to work well, it should be started as soon as possible (within 48 hours).
Get tested regularly for HIV, hepatitis C and the bacterial STIs syphilis, chlamydia & gonorrhea. With regular chemsex, the bacterial ones are hard to avoid.
Your future with chemsex
Maybe the experience was so positive for you that you are considering integrating regular chemsex into your life. To be comfortable with your chemsex habit in the long run, you will need to develop rules and strategies that work for you. Otherwise, patterns may emerge over time that aren’t good for you:
- The longer and more frequently you use chems, the longer and rougher the comedown afterwards becomes
- You may experience cravings for certain drugs or the next chemsex session
- You might neglect other valuable parts of your life in favor of chemsex
- Sober sex could lose its appeal
- You may build up tolerance to the effects and increase your dose, which amplifies side and after effects
- You may lose control over the amount and duration of your drug use: Not wanting to stop may gradually turn into being unable to
- Your focus may shift from the experiences that chems facilitate to substance use and intoxication itself
- Trying to combat last session’s comedown effects with another session of substance use may result in a spiral effect of ever-more unpleasant hangovers
The simplest way to reduce the risk for such developments: Take breaks of at least 4 weeks between chemsex sessions. This gives your body time to recover and can help avoid losing sight of other priorities in life, such as your studies or work, your hobbies and your social contacts.
It may help to consider the following questions:
- What do I want my chemsex and my substance use habits to look like? Which role should they play in my life?
- Which needs does chemsex fulfill for me? What do I get from it that I don’t get anywhere else? Might there be alternative ways of meeting these needs?
- What are my limits? Which substances do I feel comfortable using, and which do I want to avoid? Which routes of administration are OK for me, and which aren’t? Who do I want to have chemsex with, and who do I not? How much time do I want to devote to this? Which side effects are worth it for me, and which wouldn’t be?
- How would I notice when I’ve crossed my red lines or when I’m starting to lose control? What will I do in that situation?
The Chemsex Check is an excercise to help you to check in with how it’s going and whether there’s any aspects you want to keep a closer eye on. You can get it online (for printing at home) or at Checkpoint BLN.
Counseling and support
Several institutions in Berlin offer accepting and open-ended counseling in case you have questions or need support. See here for an overview: